Since last week when I went public with one of my nagging self limiting beliefs a lot has happened.
Acknowledging what is so allowed me to peak behind my shadows at what is keeping this whole dysfunctional structure in place. This is not the first time I do this, I assure you, but some structures have a tough skin, so I spiralled a bit deeper into it. Every time I do this, I am sure that this time it is handled forever and will never again come up to disturb my peace. So every time it gets triggered again I am the first one to be surprised, at first discouraged, then firmly resolved to get rid of its root this time, and then to finally remember that best of all is to create a new structure, empowering what wants to emerge from my depth and accumulated wisdom, rather than fighting a losing battle. That root in all likelihood stems from time immemorial, perhaps even from before we humans walked on Earth.
But my ego is large and regularly keeps on forgetting. One benefit however is that each time I look at it squarely in the face, I gather new clarity on perhaps only a small aspect but nevertheless, movement happened. So last week after I faced the pain and observed my sabotage mechanisms, all strategies my ego keeps in place to control the status quo, I started to open certain emails. I don’t know about you but I have signed up for so many programs and information that I cannot keep up reading what comes in, unless I spend my day doing that, and sometimes I lose myself in that activity… So a number of emails never get opened and accumulate in my inbox, with the crazy hope that I will get to it someday. I might as well delete them right away if I don’t want to reach 10,000 unopened mails, the figure I had let them accumulate before I cleared them last time, a few months ago.
So back to those emails. I don’t know why I opened them, perhaps higher guidance triggering the click of the mouse, perhaps the promise on the subject line, perhaps also my humbled self acknowledging that I don’t have to do everything by myself, I can accept help. When I open up to help, help shows up!
It is that simple. So I finally read some of those special reports explaining list building, or article marketing, or social media. A number of things I already knew, however I had many missing links about all these online tools. Needing to feel in control of the amount of overwhelm I can humanly take, I had not been very strategic in my learning. I am discovering that a lot of former newbies are very good teachers since it is all still very fresh in their mind and they can explain things simply for someone like me to grasp. The latest one I came across is perhaps even the most concise one I have come across and can be found on Paul-Lear.com blog and his has a free download to Traffic Guide for Newbies for anyone interested to check it out.
I got help also from my mastermind group, Debra explaining how hidden pages on the website intertwine with the aWeber autoresponder system, that I am currently attempting to grasp. Erica explaining how to follow somebody on twitter when they follow you. I didn’t know I had to sign in, so I never knew how to reciprocate when someone chose to follow me! Another learning of this past week!
Then ideas just flooding my mind about how I could finally set up my wordpress.org site with free reports galore to use, learned from the Self Growth ebook marketing course I am currently taking.
So in other words I am back in flow!… Ideas are flowing into my consciousness and instead of attempting to block them by fear of feeling overwhelmed, I welcome them, choose the ones I will prioritize and let the others go their merry way. Attempting to put too many of them into application at once is counter productive.