Our body, what an amazing instrument of connection

I feel again the urge to document my process of reconnection.

For the last few days, almost a week now I have not had any sense of taste nor smell and my nose is still running, bringing up stuff by wave. Nights all is well, no coughing, no sniffing, peaceful sleep. When I wake up, the running starts and with it messages.

Of course regularly I question my decision not to go and see a doctor, the doubting mind raising its voice and then I listen deeply and increasingly another voice, louder by the day, emerges and guides the process.
When I listen and follow the guidance incredible experiences follow and I am able to help clients or family members to take the next step on their own journey. I regularly double check my intuition using a number of tools, e.g. wisdom cards, and lately without fail, all the messages always converge with the voice from my soul. I mean if I were to run some kind of statistics on the process, the statistical mean would be way over the normally accepted figure where the tests are considered successful. (My mind has to interject its 2 cents worth of knowledge in that paragraph! OK my mind is my ally, its helps me articulate what I deeply sense and I am so grateful that now it doesn’t judge me any longer!)

Yesterday the messages clearly stated that my external senses of smell and taste have been temporarily shut down so I may get fully in touch with my inner senses, my inner knowingness/wisdom.

Today this went even further. Still laying in bed around 6.00 AM and still having no smell, I suddenly innerly smell freshly brewed coffee and am pulled back in time to my mother’s apartment around breakfast time. Tears come to my eyes and I recall the experience of Dr. Sue Morter interviewed by Jennifer McLean on her show Healing with the Master. You can still listen to the recording at Healing with the Masters.
(I attempted to put in the link but it stubbornly doesn’t want to go live, so I will not insist for now. New technological challenges to be mastered in due time!)
Dr. Sue Morter shared an amazing story of finding four leaved clover (104 of them, just an amazing number) linking her to her own mother who passed away some four years ago. Somehow another message for me of our inter-connection beyond time and space and it touched me to tears.

Later during breakfast while watching the news and still having no taste of my porridge nor any sense of smell, I suddenly feel the taste of cigarettes, which totally comes out of left field. I am not a smoker and nobody in my family smokes, I am alone in the apartment and my neibourgh doesn’t smoke. However my father used to smoke and he has been gone for well over 20 years.

What is going on? Cellular cleansing ongoing, reconnection to All there is, all of that and more. If any of you reading this care to share of similar experiences, it would be helpful as I am increasingly sure that I am not the only one experiencing this type of phenomenon.

Cellular Shapeshifting

An urge to write about this process is what is guiding me today. It has been on my mind for the longest time and I have not listened or rather I dismissed the thought, plagued by thoughts of ‘you are no authority on the process of shapeshifing’ type of. OK perhaps I am no authority on the subject, but I am my own authority on my own process, at least that is how I am deeply feeling it.

This ill-ease of the last few weeks, first coughing up sticky substance from the depth of my body which has since a couple of days transformed into a running nose, congested sinuses still speaks loudly from my soul and I can no longer ignore its message.

At first I felt it deeply reconnected me to my Source beyond time and space, urging me to speak up, take a stand, make the choices to lead out of feeling stuck. It also coincided with the passing of my earthly mother, who peacefully did not wake up on September 22nd, 2009, at 95, ending her earthly trajectory around the time of the equinox, when new surges of energies entered which her old body could no longer harbour, turning the page and moving on. Since that time and I am the first one surprised by this experience, I feel a deep connection to her soul, as if she was communicating to me through my body. I mention surprised because my mother was not a believer in an after life. She had rejected any form of organized religion and belief in a traditional form of God. She believed that when you go you go. She was however strongly connected to Nature and Life and often referred to herself as a gentle ‘witch’.

Surprised also because during the course of her life we had fought many battles and I was at peace with her life and her passing. It was timely and I could resume a chosen course for my own life, which had been scattered at best in the last 5 years.

After my initial attempts to want to suppress the process of coughing up this sticky substance at any cost , the fact that I was not able to shift it, started to attract my full attention. What is my body attempting to say to me, what am I not hearing? As I listened, the coughing changed, from the initial spasms reconnecting me to my hara center, the Source of my Being, it started to gradually clear and with every mucus substance coming out of me, a bit more of my lifelong doubts got cleared. Hey you don’t just shift 60 years of doubts in just a few hours and a part of me is still holding on to doubts and beliefs that it is not easy. I notice this as I write. Daily it brings its new awareness.

Since a few days, the mucus comes out freely and a running nose gave me a headache that I questioned yesterday. The headache was located just behind my forefront, and clearly it was a battle for control between my heart center and the part of me that had ruled my whole life, the frontal lobe of my cortex, the rational part of my mind. When I got that the headache cleared instantly. Later during the day I suddenly realized that for the first time ever since I started the process of wanting an internet business, I was now seeing it and believing that it will happen, in due time. Doubts have lifted! I have come along way and learned a lot and still have a lot to learn, but I am moving forward. I am actually thoroughly enjoying the process rather than beating myself up for not yet having it up and running, sabotaging my very efforts by being naive about the time it takes…

And then today I realized that not only did I cough up all my own lifelong doubts, no doubt! I am also coughing up some of my mother’s. She is attempting to communicate to me, ‘I am still here’, the energy never dies. I knew that, but she didn’t have that level of understanding while in her living body. In our many conversations when I attempted to convey that notion to her, she always stuck stubbornly to her ‘stale’ beliefs, perhaps not having the necessary background to fully understand the principles of Quantum physics. But now as she is free of her earthly body, her energy got it and she is frantically attempting to let me know that she got it, helping me shift out of doubting mode, my biggest sabotage mechanism during my own life.

Sacred body, temple of my soul, harbour of my emotions, my vehicle of manifestation on this plane of reality, I honour you and through you access the necessary transformation, through cellular shapeshift, dislodging stuck beliefs of doubts and outdated control mechanisms, embedded in my cellular memory from time immemorial. And I recall that fascinating book of Bruce Lipton ‘The Biology of Belief’, where he makes it clear that indeed it is our beliefs that control our bodies, our minds and thus our lives.

I intuit that there is more to be said about the experience that I am coughing up from the depth of my soul, something to do with how we women are interlinked and are part of a web that will help shift outdated beliefs globally. I will however keep that for a later posting, that awareness has not fully crystallized yet, and is still bubbling up through my consciousness…

Deep Ecology

As I am integrating how to use videos, I searched You Tube and found a message that resonates deeply with my own views.

Check out this video at

Body Dialogue

 

Today another day of synchronicities as I listened to my body instead of my doubting mind. I am still glad to have my mind to be able to articulate all that, part of the process of integration.

I was guided to listen to a body dialogue process with Jennifer McLean on Healing with the Maters show. As I went into my body a raw pain in the top of my chest seemed to want to speak to me.  The coughing was no longer coming from way down in my gut.

All the doubts of a lifetime that have kept me in solo mode, I can only count on myself, can never trust anybody, ultimately I am on my own, all consequences of an abandonment complex following a difficult birth, seem to be stored there. I have looped and looped around that spiral incessantly, always going a bit further, deeper… But today there was another message there for me.

In my lungs I saw a web of whitish sticky substance and it was hurting. Despite all the work done on myself, I still end up there. And then suddenly it dawned on me thanks to messages from some of you. I needed to forgive myself for keeping myself at distance from my connection to Oneness.

Acceptance and celebration of what is, rather than wanting to get rid of it. I went for a walk and at times still coughing and at times, breathing in deeply and easily the afternoon air of a sunny Fall day. It felt like I had never been breathing in so deeply, so consciously, so fully… I felt connected to all the women who have witnessed and participated in my journey over the last few years.

The same image that I could see inside my lungs, the whitish web of substance, but now taking form outside myself. I am indeed not alone, I am connected to a world wide web of women who each of us in our own way are finding their voices and starting to speak up, undoubtedly linked and propelled by the same creative impulse that birthed stars and planets, life from time immemorial.

Thanks for being there! A common co-creation process is beginning…

 

 

Shamanic Initiation

For the last three weeks almost I have been coughing, every morning I go through a spell where I pull up greenish sticky mucus. For the first week, I thought I had a cold, even though I had no symptom of a cold (running nose, sore throat, perhaps fever, body tired, feeling sick, etc…) just a strange cough of stuff that didn’t get released, something sticking deep inside my lungs. I attempted with all my knowledge to get rid of it, ingesting cough syrup, homeopathic stuff, drinking hot lemon and honey drinks, oregano oil, ecchinacea dilutions etc… Whatever I have in my medicine cabinet I tried. Nothing got rid of it.

About a week into it, I suddenly realized that I had helped somebody extract a sticky substance lodged inside her head, causing migraine and other discomforts. I used distant Reiki, helping her extract that substance. She felt better after our session taking place over the phone and I didn’t bother wash my hand or even purify my energy field, like I teach my students. My doubting mind winning that battle then, the types of thoughts rushing through my head: ‘What’s the point anyway, you never had any proof that this stuff works’. Writing this I realize that it is not really true, back then in Riyadh when I dared use what I had learned and then only always when a strong nudging from inside overruled any and all doubts I had been plagued with most of my life, being the product of a rational culture, where head over heart was always valued more, I had countless proof that this indeed works. I guess I could say that it scared me, because I didn’t understand it, it came from a very different place than my head.

I have always been fascinated by cultures in touch with their shamanic powers, even got trained by John Perkins in shapeshifting but then circumstances got the better of me, leaving Riyadh, settling back in France and then two years later in Toronto, two years later back in France and now only since January, really sorting myself out, healing outdated patterns from my culture of origin. I had taught the workshop Shapeshifting, Global and Personal Transformation three times while in Riyadh before leaving and then was so much lost during the last 5 years that I didn’t feel I knew anything and certainly didn’t authorize myself to work, or perhaps I had to go through that process of reclaiming bits and pieces of myself before my real work in the world can begin? I always secretly wished I had also experienced some form of disease I was then able to heal myself from by myself, an initiation of sort, lead by Spirit.

Lately this unrelenting cough might be just that. With it a slew of trapped emotions come up, releasing stuff lodged in my body, perhaps for centuries, if not more. I keep on hearing my husband telling me to go to the doctor. I probably would get rid of it that way faster but with it also suppressing a process that I intuit is beyond my little body in this time and age.

When I cough, my whole body goes in some kind of a spasm, bringing up stuff from deep down inside of me, my hara center?, the connection to the Mother?, from the Divine Feminine?, from the eternal connection to Oneness?, from the connection to Earth?, all of that and more….

After the coughing spell is over I am in touch with messages beyond time, undoubtedly connected to oneness, and dimensions beyond my current conception of reality.

Almost a dictate to stand up and bring out my voice. Women are to stand up and speak up. We can no longer afford not to and allow to be ruled by fear. The masculine energies are out of balance in the world because women did not speak up. Women in their 50s and beyond we are in a unique position to help steer the future and co-create a better world. But for that we have to take ourselves seriously and step up to the plate, from the highest stand possible, namely our connection to ONENESS, our connection to our heart and start leading. Men are lost without us, they can only do more of the same, go to war, attempt to control this renegade country or that, Iraq, now it is Afganistan, it used to be Vietnam 40 years ago and all the others throughout history, always in the name of values of freedom, justice, peace, etc… from a one sided perspective.

What if we really started to educate women and children everywhere in the world and not only pay lip service to the initiative while in the background stealing their resources, exploiting their lands, arming their ignorant husbands, easily manipulated because scared and hungry? What if… a massif amount of resources got invested in just that instead of producing more arms to control and defend us from enemies that exist only in our minds, because we are disconnected from our heart? What if…. women across the world were to rally, really rally and DEMAND, relentlessly taking the lead, perhaps not demand but CREATE a different possibility, weaving a new reality that will powerfully heal the mindset of fear, we all got programmed into? What if…?

When I connect to that voice, re-emerging so strongly from my gut, I no longer want to get rid of my cough. It leads the way and helps me clear obstacles still present in my energy field from eons of submission and fear.

I am committed to my connection to Oneness and celebrate my cough as a shamanic initiation to BE all that I AM.

Catching up

I have missed blogging during August. As usual life when we are in Canada gets busy fast, dealing with odds and ends, certainly no vacation. I am travelling back to France next Monday, looking forward to resume a healthy routine for a while!

On our journey to Toronto, my laptop fell twice and sure enough broke. I had to replace it. Reflecting back on my intentions for August, I wanted to clear the clutter on my laptop and organize my content efficiently. Well this whole incident with having to buy a new computer is helping do just that. This time I am taking the time to learn how to organize my files using the new tools the latest technology makes available, instead of moving fast forward into the unknown. I am amazed at how confident I am feeling at times now!

I have broken through my fears of technology!… This blog has been part of that journey. Thank you to all who have been reading it, you were an important part of the support I needed.

I am now ready to build a site using wordpress.org. Two days ago I signed up for a server and downloaded the software. Fears are such powerful paralysing entities and when you face them, you become unstoppable. This is how I feel now. What I don’t know I face as an opportunity to learn and grow AND get help! That is the breakthrough right there!

Work in collaboration with others. Doing everything by myself is no longer fun, perhaps never has been, however it was a well engrained habit.

Before my pattern of doing everything alone and feeling like I should know it, hence shying away from asking others or experts for help, compounded the fear of technology issue… Or perhaps fear of technology was just the excuse my ego found acceptable…

During the next few months and I don’t know how long that will take I will be studying internet marketing and building my French website. My intention is to keep on blogging and my focus will be on developping the online business.

The next challenges: create an ecourse based on my offline material, a video series, teleseminars… This is truly a game I enjoy playing now!…

Distant energy healing

Below I am sharing my experience of a distant energy healing. I wanted to wait a bit so allow integration of the experience before I write about it. Some major energy block got lifted that must have been there most of my life and it has translated in so many little changes that I am observing daily and that I am still integrating.

This is quite a long post since I am sharing correspondence as it took place, thinking that it might interest someone or help someone else trust this powerful healing that is available to all of us if we open ourselves to it.

Last Monday morning I was gifted with a healing. I felt stuck and finally asked for help. Susan agreed, she is trained in so many energy modalities that I fully entrusted myself to her care. I had met her in March while visiting my husband in Riyadh, KSA, referred by a friend.

We had settled on a time and I am glad we did, since it allowed me to be fully present and take note of the experience. Susan was in Ryadh and I was in France, the time difference right now is one hour. Following is what I wrote her after the energy healing.

« This was a powerful experience, thank you. Let me report my experience. I will appreciate getting yours.

At the very beginning I felt a touching at the base of my skull, I was having a cup of tea at the time and decided to lay down on my bed and close my eyes to be in better receptive mode.

It must have been around 8.15 AM (9.15 AM your time) I saw (in my mind’s eye) a few sheaf of light coming out of my solar plexus, don’t know exactly how to describe it, but something was coming out. Then felt a lot of activity on the surface of the body at the solar plexus. Like repair work is going on there within the layers and it manifested by sensations in the field like a square wheel, not spinning smoothly. Eventually felt a lifting of this energy, felt cone like perhaps 30 cm diameter and 15 cm height. Later started to see (again in my mind’s eye, third chakra) a faint colour of not very bright yellow (intermixed with indigo blue) coming out of the solar plexus, like the tower of Pisa in Italy, but it had like 3 stages (intuition, repair happened on the 3 first layers of the field). Some connection with throat chakra also happened around that time. Some yawning and deep sigh.

Then felt a sharp pain on the right hand side at the base of my skull, followed by a sharp pain in my left knee, followed by a sharp pain in my right ankle. The pain at the base of my skull lasted a bit longer, then later had the sensation that my tongue dropped, it was tucked at the top of my palate and a relaxing of the jaw happened, an opening of the mouth, some tears.

Then later an opening of my chest area and a dropping of my shoulders, some more tears and feelings of gratitude overcame me, heart chakra wide open, tingling energy all over.

I stayed a while in that energy. Some coughing also happened at one time, some stuck energy coming up, felt a bit mucus like.

Around 9.00 AM (10 AM your time) I felt it was done and felt like sharing my experience with you.

Spirit works in magnificent ways, I needed an Earth Angel (YOU) to bring me proof that this distant healing works to be able to put my doubting mind to rest and get on with my life.

I felt stuck for the longest of time with power issues (who do you think you are type of thoughts that kept me small and past bound), so I am not surprised at the need to repair solar plexus.

I welcome any feedback on your side. With deep gratitude, Love, Aline »

During the afternoon had some pain in the back of my heart chakra, that evening went to bed early and took care of myself. Following is Susan’s feedback:

« Dear Aline,

That is the best feedback I have ever had.  You are very perceptive !!

From my side it was not so spectacular, but it was different from the usual (is there a usual…?).

First of all, I took your reading for the first 5 levels of the field, and am very sorry I didn’t do the 6th and 7th also, but for some reason I thought that was enough to be getting on with.  None of the fields were doing what I think they ought to be doing , there were many of the chakras with odd rotations or just unbalanced side to side.

So I turned all the power off at the main switch and sat in the storage closet on a cushion to have the most silent place and started off with no particular ideas, no protocol, just entrained with your field and told it to do as it likes and let me know when it was all done.  I usually do that, but sometimes also do a regular walk through the chakras using hand positions.  This time I didn’t.  I just relied on the information I was getting about side to side balance and worked with whatever was coming up, hard to tell what it all is as a rule.

I started in the closet at 9, it took a long time to get a feeling of balance, everything was back and forth, left, right, sometimes as the shift was occurring to one side there would be a stop for the energy to move to higher frequencies, or sometimes lower ones.   and then near the end I had a strange feeling of holding a large heavy ball of something in my left hand, and the right hand got involved also.  usually I don’t use my hands for much in long distance, I just use the magnetic field in the eyes and frontal lobes, check it for correctness by reference to activity on the line of intent, and direct it by turning my head as indicated.  after the hands got done playing with this large thing, I got the feeling of vertical and horizontal balance, my scan went up and then down through the fields without deviation, my hands came together and it was over unexpectedly.  For good measure I did the 7th level closing to make sure.  The battery clock said it was 10 when I went out.

At some points there was very strong magnetic feeling that made my eyes bug out and a few times twinges of emotion as well.

I have an idea the 5th level surgeons were there, especially with the sensations you are reporting.  Do drink plenty of water for the next few days and take it easy as you would if you had had ordinary surgery.  Pay close attention to your perceptions of your relationships and wishes and find out from your self what you require for the next step in terms of deep future, what would make you feel most properly organized/directed/usefully employed in the world now, and where, without judgment.

If there is a conflict between what you yourself need and the ideas you have about what your proper role is, think about what you can do to reconcile them, as of course you need to have your own needs met before you can do the career or public life things, and you don’t need to feel guilty or uncertain about any of that.  I think this change today will help you decide that by helping you move naturally into it, the road will have better markers and be easier to find, so just trust it.

If you have any other questions, just ask.  If you want to do further work on anything, wait for your time and let me know.  It is easy to do from this side, and sometimes very educational, too! Love, Susan »

If you had a distant healing at one time or another, I would love to hear your experience of it.

Forgiveness is the opposite of judgment

I am amazed at the depth of the word forgiveness when forgiveness is practised with an open heart and not given by the ruling judge logged in the reasoning mind, who knows it all, even though he never was in a position to experience what can only be felt through a heart-centered connection.

Tuesday morning during a coaching call it seems that I heard it for the first time or rather I heard it in a new way, with my ears connected in my heart, manifesting quite a different resonance. The window of self judgment having lifted for just a while, I saw a new world, felt a depth of soul connection unmatched before.

For someone like me with a lifetime of harsh self judgments towards myself that was a monumental turning point, all that in the wake of Monday morning’s energy healing, that I will talk about in another post. When Mary said that forgiveness is the opposite of judgment, I saw the light. No wonder I cannot feel love and self acceptance for myself and am pursuing a perpetual course in self knowledge, attempting to eradicate all the flaws that came with my birth right!

A conversation with my sister the next day during a day spend with her shed further light on the origin of such rigid self righteousness. She has been digging in our common socio cultural past too and researched the origins of Calvinist Protestantism, since our family originates in this puritanical branch of reformed religious tradition.

Even though in our immediate family all official references to religion were forgotten, the values were powerfully transmitted. We have freedom of consciousness (I am not quite sure how to translate ‘liberté de conscience’) and are sole responsible to God for all our deeds and we must live a righteous life. No other human can act as an intermediary and grant forgiveness against a certain ritual of prayers as in some other branches of religious traditions. The self responsibility concept was well transmitted by my mother, minus the being responsible to God, since she herself had rejected all connection to source if it contained any religious overtone. All encompassing self responsibility for all our acts, no escape possible. An immediate cousin of such value when interpreted without a context is guilt and a feeling of never good enough, hence my lifelong pursuit of unreachable perfection. How could I love myself and accept myself when I still had so much to mend and then the whole world needs attention!…

Wow! This new perception truly opens the door for self forgiveness and freedom!

Honouring myself, taking time out

Yesterday I didn’t write, chose instead to listen to my internal needs rather than the driving my head is accustomed to listen to. And I don’t feel any guilt about it, even though the snake attempted to show its head.

The week-end I was busy living and catching up on what fills ones life, when you don’t delegate it to others, e.g. groceries, washing, cooking, visiting my mother, hanging out with my daughter…

On Sunday night I was alone and reflected, actually I did a reality check, it was called for, some readjustment of my course seems to emerge.

On Sunday I asked a friend for help and she agreed to send healing early on Monday morning while I was in receptive mode. It was a powerful experience, perhaps I will write about it at some time, right now still integrating.

For me to ask for help was already a major leap into un-chartered territory and part of a shift that will take me on a different path than the one where I could only rely on myself for anything and everything.

Then tonight played tourist in my home town, went on a boat down the river passing through downtown, ate in a restaurant near the cathedral and finished the evening watching a sound and light show on its façade. Tomorrow will visit some more family and have lunch with them.

I realized that working non stop attempting to put a business online I had forgotten to live and have fun. I had gotten my priorities lopsided! And I am making adjustments…

Synchronicities after clearing

Last night and this morning after clearing a lot of baggage, an ongoing process for now, I listened to a few calls I had not be able to attend life and was stuck by the appropriateness of each one of them. Each of these calls/videos contributed to further helping lift some energy that was stuck in my field for most of my life, probably since I was 1 day old.

My operating software has been do to everything by myself, not rely on anybody else in order not to be disappointed, a very limiting scenario indeed that worked well for a number of years and that has reached its saturation point well over 5 years ago.

Today I started seeing opportunities where I had never even considered looking, a real tangible effect of the shifts I experienced yesterday. I also noticed that so much has been coming my way and I couldn’t acknowledge it and feel grateful for it, since it was never good enough for the perfectionist that I was. I purposely put it in the past tense since this structure is crumbling.

I am enough, I belong, I trust the universe.

I surrender with power into the knowingness of the unknown.

Looking forward to enjoying the week-end….